Dismal Derby should change their nickname from the Rams to the turkeys after another humiliation.
At this rate Billy Davies' strugglers will fail to make it to Christmas.
The extremely happy Hammers made Derby look like dead men walking. A swift return to the Championship surely beckons.
We are only in the second week of November but already the trap-door is opening.
On the evidence of yesterday's turkey shoot, the Championship play-off winners are up there with some of the worst sides to "grace" the top flight.
It was not just that they lost - to a mid-table side decimated by injuries and who had won only one of their previous six league games - but how they lost.
For Derby's loyal fans, the worst part was that they did not even put up a fight.
The home crowd had to wait 76 minutes before their side had a shot on target. In fact, the Premier League's bottom club have now gone an extraordinary 521 minutes without scoring a league goal.
Davies said: "It was men against boys in the end. After we lost the first goal our heads went down and we stopped competing. We've got to show more character.
"I'm very disappointed for the fans. The January window is going to be very important to us."
But January might well be too late for Derby. They have won only once in 13 matches, failed to win away all season and were embarrassed in the Carling Cup by Blackpool. Oh yes - and Chelsea are next up in a fortnight's time.
A Lee Bowyer brace, and goals by Matthew Etherington and Nolberto Solano plus an Eddie Lewis own-goal, gave West Ham their biggest win since 2005.
Manager Alan Curbishley, who furiously threw down a water bottle after they leaked a last-gasp equaliser to Bolton last week, was in a better mood this time.
"It was a fantastic result for us," he said. "But I feel for Billy. I know what he's going through. There's still all to play for and he has to take some positives from it and push on to the next game."
But where were the positives for the Rams? They were struggling as soon as Carlton Cole fired straight at Stephen Bywater's legs.
Solano thought he had opened the scoring when his beautifullystruck free-kick curled around the wall, but it hit the underside of the crossbar.
The inevitable opener came just before half-time. Luis Boa Morte found Solano, whose chip was headed down by Cole to the unmarked Bowyer. He took his time before slotting the ball through Bywater's legs.
Soon after the restart Matthew Upson met a corner with a first-time half-volley which crashed against the bar.
But West Ham's' second was not long in coming. When Boa Morte played the ball in, Etherington exchanged passes with Bowyer before sliding it past the sprawling Bywater. It was 3-0 when Derby failed to clear a corner and the ball fell to Jonathan Spector, whose shot deflected in off Lewis.
The farcical defending got worse as Solano put Cole through and his first-time cross was slid in by an unmarked Bowyer.
Solano then struck home a 25-yard free-kick to complete Derby's misery.
DERBY
Bywater 6, Edworthy 5, Oakley 5, Lewis 5 (Earnshaw 5), Teale 5 (Howard 5), Griffin 5, Moore 5, Mears 5, Pearson 5, Miller 5 (Fagan 4), Barnes 5.
Manager Davies 6
WEST HAM
Green 7, Neill 7, McCartney 6 (Pantsil 7), Gabbidon 7, Upson 8, Etherington 8, Cole 8, SOLANO 9, Spector 8, Bowyer 8 (Collins 7), Boa Morte 8.
Manager Curbishley 8
Referee M Clattenburg 8
Head to head
Kenny Miller v Matthew Upson
The Scotland international was back after injury - and totally snuffed out by Upson. The West Ham man only allowed him one sniff of goal, and hit the bar himself at the other end.
Man of the Match
Nolberto Solano
This was a superb team performance by West Ham but the Peruvian still managed to stand out. Scored with a great free-kick and only the crossbar denied him his second goal.
Did You Know? These two last met at Pride Park in September 2004 in a 1-1 draw. At the season's end Derby finished fourth, while West Ham finished sixth but were promoted via the play-offs.
Absolutely blunder-ful Derby - the worst ever
By Michael Calvin
Avert your eyes now. We're looking at the worst team in Premier League history.
Derby County are an embarrassment to themselves, their supporters, and their manager.
They're imploding in slow motion, like a pub team let loose after a night on the sauce.
They don't even bother with the basics, like passing to someone in the same shirt.
Defenders charge towards the same ball, colliding in a cartoon tangle of arms and legs.
They're beaten for pace, bereft of spirit. In midfield they're shapeless, clueless, hopeless.
There's more chance of an alien being found in Elvis Presley's chipshop than them avoiding relegation.
Don't take my word for it. Ask the bookmakers, who deal in facts and the laws of probability.
Derby are 20-1 on to go down. That's known in the gambling trade as buying money.
There have been some excuses for Premier League teams. Sunderland, Bradford, Barnsley and Watford were horror stories of varying degrees.
But none succumbed as meekly as Derby. West Ham had only to turn up to win.
Billy Davies deserves better. Humiliation was etched on his pinched face. The crowd booed, in a parody of inflated expectations.
There will be pressure to take the easy way out and sack Davies. But new chairman Adam Pearson takes a longterm view.
The manager really is a victim of his own success. He's two years ahead of schedule.
He cannot admit it publicly, but he knows his squad lacks quality.
Pearson's job will be to find the cash to fund a complete rebuilding job.
He is looking for an investor, and his sales pitch will dwell on the Premier League being a suitable plaything for the rich and infamous.
But it won't survive too many more 5-0 defeats. Pride Park? More like the Street of Shame.
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ALEC STEWART
THE MOLE