However many times you ride on Disneyworld's Tower of Terror, it still catches you unprepared.
One moment you are flying upwards with adrenalin rushing, but the next instant it plunges you fast and deep into stomach-churning darkness.
Today will be just like that. Kevin Keegan fears the Premier League is getting dull. Not on days like these.
For the first time in 40 years, since Manchester City pipped their deadly rivals United, two teams enter the final 90 minutes level on points. It's delicious.
Sir Alex Ferguson's United have the beauty of a soaring aria but also the throaty roar of the Glasgow dockyard boy who urges them on.
Ronaldo is the Footballer of the Year by a mile. The trio, with Rooney and Tevez, has scored 77 goals. On 12 occasions United have hit four. Their football has flowed with enchanting freedom.
But their defence has been as solid as granite. After opting out of Holland's tour last summer, Van der Sar has regained his old swagger and surety.
Ferdinand and Vidic are the best centre-halves in the division.
Evra has added defensive capability to his attacking flair at left-back.
Veterans Giggs and Scholes have defied the years and influenced matches. Hargreaves has responded to the manager's quiet criticism by scurrying effectively. Surgeon Carrick has bisected back fours. Anderson has been thrilling in his first year.
Yet the title still isn't won. Will they rue the seven points dropped in the miserable opening three games? Defeats at Bolton and West Ham could also haunt them.
For months it has seemed that this is United's moment with destiny. They could still throw it all away.
Victory should come at Wigan, although it must be remembered that Steve Bruce's team has kept seven clean sheets in 11 matches.
If United rip into them early on, the title will be wrapped up by half-time. If they start tentatively, the thrill of the rollercoaster lies ahead.
Keegan's point about the dull predictability of the same clubs occupying the top four places is depressingly sound.
The Premier league needs Arsenal to get the trip, Liverpool to unite, Aston Villa, Everton and Tottenham to strengthen into challengers who can regularly beat the big four and Newcastle with their lusty 50,000 to re-emerge from the fog of uncertainty.
But for now it's only Chelsea who can stop United - the same Chelsea who've been written off more times than cars driven by my missus. For a team that doesn't want to play for the manager and for a manager who lacks motivational skills, they haven't done badly.
Over the season they haven't glowed like United, they have ground out results, but in recent weeks they've played good football too and there's a momentum about Chelsea that United have lacked in the final days.
Ballack and Drogba are peaking at the right time. Essien has rediscovered the edge blunted by the African Cup of Nations, when Grant was without six key players unavailable or injured and they still won seven on the bounce.
It proved the durability of the squad. If they do win the title, they'll do so on merit. The table doesn't lie.
But they've probably left it too late. The home draw with Wigan will prove decisive in the title race.
But there is a unity about the Chelsea dressing room that was lacking until the win over Manchester Utd a fortnight ago and that victory gave them such belief that the Champions League crown could be theirs.
Fifty years on from the Munich disaster United will tug the heart strings emotionally. In the Russia of Roman, Chelsea can write an equalling stirring story on that Moscow night.
For me, today belongs to United but Red Square will be painted blue.
Wearing black and white on his sleeve, Keegan wants it to be more colourful.
I hear his wider argument. But this season is ending in a kaleidoscope of possibilities.
It's not the most gripping final day at the bottom. In 1993-94 six clubs could have been relegated. In 1995-96 five clubs could have gone.
It'll be horrible, nonetheless, for Birmingham, Fulham and Reading. Roy Hodgson's (right) Cottagers have the momentum after three wins in four games and they go to Portsmouth, who will have minds on Wembley. Fulham know a win will save them. They're playing good stuff at last.
Reading, who haven't scored in nearly 10 hours, have to win at Derby and hope. They've been wretched of late.
It's out of Birmingham's hands surely. Isn't it? They should have to pay for their indecisive autumn when takeover talks were protracted and six games in seven were lost.
Reading didn't strengthen.
Steve Coppell (below) knows that. Fulham were shambolic for months with managerial changes and bad buys. All three built shaky foundations.
It should be Fulham escaping. But Harry Redknapp (right) won't want to go to Wembley on the back of four straight defeats.
It could all twist and turn with rattle-snake speed and danger.
My heart won't go out to the chairmen, managers or millionaire footballers who are relegated today.
Any tears I shed will be for the fans. They'll be back next season and the next and the next...
Frank Lampard won the hearts of his harshest critics with his tear-jerking penalty against Liverpool.
It won't bring closure for him as he grieves for his mum.
But in a week when the good guys won, the book can now be closed on a number of spurious debates.
Where are the big boys now who have hidden behind the phone-ins to pour scorn on Lampard's ability and commitment?
From the minute I saw him score in the 1996 FA Youth Cup Final, I knew he had the skill and work ethic to make it to the top.
Two days after my dad's funeral in August 1993, I commentated on Chelsea v Blackburn. I had to be busy. Mourners do.
So it came as no surprise that Frank wanted to face Liverpool. It is remarkable, though, that he played so well. It was a typically brave decision to take the penalty and dedicate the achievement of sending the club to the Champions League Final to Pat. But it was also a penalty struck with cool technical brilliance. His performance should silence the doubters.
That Michael Ballack and Didier Drogba were prepared to let him take the penalty showed their awe of a team-mate who is highly respected by fellow players. In that one moment rumours of ego wars were ended. Victory does marvellous things for camaraderie, but no team ripped by internal strife could have beaten Liverpool.
The Merseyside defenders were also in awe of the rampaging Drogba, who's surely put a stop to any questions concerning his hunger at Chelsea. For the moment his heart is still with the club.
The way Drogba hugged Avram Grant afterwards and the more touching embrace between Lampard and the manager showed that admiration for the Israeli has grown.
The players have shown a united front behind Grant - now the club's hierarchy needs to do the same. It's ludicrous that his position is under threat when he could end up a European and Premier League champion. Wednesday closed the book on the Mourinho era.
Grant's prayer of thanks as he sank to his knees at full-time was a dignified reminder that the win came on the eve of Holocaust Day. He's carried that decorum in the face of ridicule. It's time to end the character assassination.
Grant will never court publicity. Neither will Paul Scholes. Lampard's penalty stole the headlines from the United veteran but will never diminish his role in taking them to the Final.
The goal against Barcelona was a thing of power and beauty. After being banned from the 1999 Final, the Scholes story is one of this season's most heartwarming.
Last week brought the curtain down on many sub-plots to the remarkable 2007-08 theatre, but it prepared the stage for a wonderful finale.
But when the season is long over and the trophies covered with dust, the memory of Frank Lampard's fortitude will stay with me.
Leeds will cry foul for ever more over the Football League's decision to uphold the 15-point penalty for breaking rules on insolvency, but surely the decision was inevitable this late in the season.
If the sanction had been reversed the club's League One rivals would have rushed to court. It would have been bedlam.
Rules are rules. Leeds broke them. But so have others. Now Lord Mawhinney and his fellow League board members must show consistency. All offenders must be treated the same way, however draconian it may seem.
Winning the League Two title was a breeze for MK Dons in comparison with the club's next task - holding on to manager Paul Ince. At least two big clubs have been monitoring the progress of the former England captain (below). All the right noises will emanate from Milton Keynes about him staying. But I doubt he'll be a League One manager come August.
Gillett 'n' Hicks (it sounds as palatable as bread 'n' dripping) can now gaze in wonder at the results of their fine work - a wrecked season.
On Wednesday Liverpool's management looked sickened and wearied by it all. It wasn't just a semi-final defeat that brought the looks of dejection. It was the understanding that the feat of coming so close to a third Champions League Final in four seasons will mean nothing to men who have no real feeling for football. The squabbling Americans have a lot to answer for.
I've never heard a word of criticism within football for Walter Smith. History will be made if he can take Rangers to four trophies this season. But it is already a remarkable achievement to lead the club to the UEFA Cup Final.
I hope tired legs don't weigh them down against a Zenit St Petersburg side that cruised past Bayern Munich.
For the first time in many gloomy months, I'm feeling a warm glow of optimism about English football.
It has nothing to do with the prospect of two English sides meeting in the Champions League Final.
Manchester United's goalscoring trio have thrilled, but it's not that. Arsenal, like a good Chinese takeaway, have been delicious but ultimately unfulfilling.
It has everything to do with the work being carried out by the man who should have been England manager two years ago, Martin O'Neill.
He is nurturing young English talent and the national side can only gain from it.
Fabio Capello is searching for intelligent gamebreakers. Of Sir Alex's commendably high quota of English players in Barcelona on Wednesday, only Wayne Rooney fits the Italian's mould.
We need more. And O'Neill is providing them.
The world stage has always been commanded by the men who can fill the deep-lying forward's role, from Puskas through Pele, Cruyff and Maradona to Zico and Zidane.
In recent years Bergkamp, Cantona and Zola lit up the Premier League in the same position.
Ashley Young, at only 22, is showing signs that he can fill the match-dominating role that Capello would know as the Trequartista.
Eyebrows were raised when Aston Villa paid £8million for a relatively unknown Watford 20-year-old in January 2006.
Now he's showing his full, enchanting potential. Roving behind the pivotal main striker John Carew and exploiting gaps created when Gabby Agbonlahor pulls defenders out of position, Young has pace to go either side or through the middle.
He is showing awareness, intelligence and a refreshing, genuine hunger - even if improvement is needed in his final delivery.
Agbonlahor is another who can blossom at international level. He needs to improve his goalper-chance ratio, but he's only 21.
England need someone like him who can cover ground at speed, play alongside another front-runner and also off the shoulder of the last defender.
Crouch has been tried, but lacks the pace. Owen and Defoe aren't the same sort of player. Heskey would be a backward step.
Behind his attacking tyros O'Neill is bringing the best out of Gareth Barry as a forward-supporting midfielder and not merely the holding defensive screen. Capello will have taken note. The Villa captain relishes more responsibility and is also a model pro. Barry could be a surprise England captain.
There is pride in achievement but an honest humility about the Villa dressing-room. There is rich promise and sound development.
O'Neill must take huge credit. With Young, in particular, he's polishing a diamond.
Manchester United and Arsenal are showing the way in how the game should be played with darting counterattacks built on swift, accurate passing. But to conquer Europe, they've had to attract the best from Europe. Chelsea and Liverpool have spent big in the global market too.
O'Neill has neither the funds nor the inclination to follow suit. His work is precious for England's cause even if he has to use a foreign player to show the way.
His employment of Stilian Petrov as the anchor midfielder has demonstrated the need for that role to be filled by a player who can pass with the sudden explosive power of a quarter-back but also scurry defensively with effect. Capello has that player in Owen Hargreaves.
A month from his next game against the USA, I hope Capello (left) is considering this front six: Hargreaves, Gerrard, Barry, Young, Agbonlahor, Rooney.
It may look unlikely and unfamiliar, but when Sir Alf picked Alan Ball, Nobby Stiles and Geoff Hurst ahead of Jimmy Greaves, how many thought he'd hit on a World Cup-winning formula?
THREE LIONS ON THEIR CHESTS
GABRIEL
AGBONLAHOR
Born: .Oct 13 1986
Villa games: 98
Villa goals: 21
England caps: 0
England goals: 0
Under-21 caps: 9
Under-21 goals: 2
GARETH
BARRY
Born: Feb 23 1981
Villa games: 390
Villa goals: 43
England caps: 18
England goals: 0
Under-21 caps: 27
Under-21 goals: 2
ASHLEY
YOUNG
Born: July 9 1985
Villa games: 49
Villa goals: 10
England caps: 2
England goals: 0
Under-21 caps: 10
Under-21 goals: 0
Frank Lampard has been an exceptional player for Chelsea. A remarkable 108 goals have come from his 362 games. Few midfielders in Europe can boast that ratio.
He has been at the very heart of their trophy wins over the last three seasons. Off the field he has always had a big heart too.
Whenever a player is needed to talk to disabled supporters, attend functions and conduct interviews, Frank is first in the queue.
His performance at Anfield was of the highest order given the emotional turmoil of his mum's illness.
Her death has come as a great shock. My heart goes out to them all. I have been privileged to know Frank Snr for many years and have watched his son develop from the earliest days at West Ham.
Mum Pat seemed to be at every game. She was a wonderful support and guide for her son.
As someone who has lost a dear and cherished one this last year, I know too well the pain being suffered. Most of us do.
When I think of our little Lily I think of the words of Wordsworth and they bring comfort. I hope they do for Frank.
"The music in my heart I bore, Long after it was heard no more."
Chelsea and Liverpool have become the Premier League fishwives.
Airing their dirty laundry, they've become football's version of Les Dawson's Ada Shufflebotham and Roy Barraclough's Cissy who used to moan, groan, gossip and gurn on Dawson's TV shows.
They may be in a Champions League semi-final together. But long-lasting success can't be built on soap opera foundations.
Liverpool's in-fighting is poisonously corrosive. How can Tom Hicks even expect to axe Rick Parry? The chief executive would have to vote against himself!
Why should he go anyway? It may have escaped the notice of the American that Parry has seen the club pick up the Champions League, the UEFA Cup, FA Cup (twice) and League Cup (twice) in his nine years.
His relationship with Rafa Benitez has been criticised. His backing of the manager in transfer dealings has been questioned. The club's commercial progress has been compared poorly to that of Chelsea and Manchester United.
Parry was actually instrumental in employing Benitez and has backed him with a net transfer spend of £90million, even though some signings have been poor.
Asked to bring in new investors to keep pace with the Glazers and Abramovich, he thought he'd found the perfect pair to fund the new stadium and a title challenge.
A lot of us did. Hindsight is a wonderful gift.
Together, Benitez and Parry have kept the trophies coming in. But togetherness seems to be a thing of the past at a famous club that once kept its business in-house.
Hicks and Gillett conduct their affairs in public. They're as helpful as the old hecklers Statler and Waldorf in The Muppets.
But this isn't one of Fozzy Bear's old jokes we're talking about. This is Liverpool FC - a unique institution.
The Americans have never understood that. While they continue to feud over the spoils like B movie bad guys, the club will never re-emerge as title contenders.
There will be joy if they win the Champions League. There should be. But it'll be fleeting.
It's the same for Avram Grant at Chelsea. The Stamford Bridge board may be more discreet than Anfield's but it's another club with too many publicly aired divisions. Jose Mourinho would not have tolerated the sort of whining newspaper outburst by Tal Ben Haim. The player would have been shown the door. Jose would have silenced any mutinous dressing-room mutterings.
There's debate questioning the desire of the players to win trophies for Grant. The manager's position is hopelessly flawed. Yet he still has a team in title contention and within touching distance of the Champions League Final.
He must be doing something right. But he can't build for the long term in such an air of uncertainty.
Manchester United must be laughing. Although the Glazer takeover was understandably received with caution, they have conducted themselves with dignity and have managed Old Trafford in privacy.
Arsenal may have lost everything this season, but there is still a stoic dignity about their board.
The owners of Chelsea and Liverpool still have much to learn. And they could start by studying the record of humble Aldershot!
In their dying days as a League outfit back in 1992 there was no complaint from Terry Owens, chairman of the Save Our Shots campaign, or John McGinty, one of the original board members of the Phoenix set-up.
They persuaded the Isthmian League Third Division to take them in and got on with it. Sixteen years on, a romantic journey has returned them to the League.
It's a lovely tale - although it won't hog the headlines like a Chelsea or Liverpool victory on Tuesday.
One is a fairy story. The other is saga of wealth and political intrigue. I know which one would genuinely warm the hearts of old Ada and Cissy.
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Will Spain's big clubs come looking for Swansea's Roberto Martinez after his splendid promotion season?
In a memorable year for Welsh sport, he has taken his club up to the second tier for the first time since 1984 with a stylish brand of swash-buckling football.
They've been the class act in a competitive but muddling division.
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So another moneybags who knows nothing about football is now hinting that the end may be nigh for Sven Goran Eriksson. The last thing Man City need right now is another change.
Sven can't be judged on one season alone.
City were never going to maintain their fine start. There was style but not enough substance. Real improvement takes time.
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For years I've heard about the galvanising effect the London Marathon crowd has on runners. It washed over my head until last weekend - when every shout of encouragement put an extra 200 yards on knees that were screaming with pain.
To everyone who supported us on the streets and everyone who donated to The Lily Foundation, the most humble and heartfelt thanks.
www.justgiving.com/jonathanpearce1 or www.thelilyfoundation.org.uk
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JONATHAN PEARCE
ALEC STEWART
THE MOLE