Dear Dr Cath
A young couple have recently moved into the house behind mine. Over the last few months I've got to know them well, especially the husband. A few weeks ago I was working in my upstairs office when I spotted the wife entertaining another man in the bedroom. Since then she has had several different men and I have taken to watching her from my window. I am shocked by her betrayal of her husband but also feel guilty because I get turned on watching her. I don't feel I can tell the husband about it because I'm as guilty as the men she's sleeping with.
Cath says:
Voyeurism is the name given to the activity of getting sexual pleasure by watching unsuspecting people either undress or engage in sex.
You shouldn't feel guilty about this. After all, couples who want privacy should remember to close the curtains. With all that flesh on display it would be natural to find yourself getting turned on. You are innocently witnessing either the outcome of a very open marriage or repeated infidelity and this puts you in a tricky position with the husband.
You may not feel you know him well enough to relay what you've seen or perhaps think it would be none of your business. Perhaps a sensitive way is to let the wife know what you've seen by suggesting she close the bedroom curtains during the day.
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