Myleene Klass with Graham Quinn (Pic:Wenn)
Myleene Klass has revealed how her "perfect life" almost fell apart as she struggled desperately to cope after giving birth to daughter Ava.
The former Hear'Say star admits that, exhausted and frustrated, she almost left Graham Quinn, Ava's father.
"My relationship with Gray has been under huge pressure," she says. "I have never felt so lonely and isolated.
"After Ava was born eight months ago I genuinely wanted to kill him. I was knackered from looking after the baby and then he would come home and say something like, 'Jeez, I'm so tired, I haven't eaten all day'.
"I wasn't in a good place. I told one of my friends that I was going to leave him.
"Graham couldn't understand why I wasn't his old 'Leenie'...he thought I should be back in my old clothes, but I could barely get out of my pyjamas."
She adds: "Gray is a great dad and he is the same person he always was, but somebody took my body and shook it up. I've changed.
"I can't understand all these people who talk about how wonderful their relationship became after having a baby. It is hard on any relationship.
"We will never be back to normal. I just want Gray to appreciate what my day is like.
"When I get home my day is not over. I need to sterilise the bottles and I might even get around to making Gray some dinner.
"I don't need the sympathy or adulation, I just want some understanding."
Their wedding is, for now, on hold. But the couple, who have been together for seven years and became engaged three years ago, are now back on an even keel, she says - despite still sharing a bed with the baby.
But it can't be easy.
Gray, 34, who works for The X Factor as a security guard, is often away for weeks at a time. And 30-year-old Myleene has never been busier.
She worked right up to the birth, actually going into labour while presenting The One Show on the BBC, and was back at work just three weeks later.
She's a model for M&S, a DJ for Classic FM, a recording classical artist for EMI, TV presenter, film reporter for CNN, she's written a book about her pregnancy, is designing a range of childrenswear for Mothercare and is due to host next week's Classical Brits.
Myleene, who didn't work for a year after Hear'Say split in 2002, is determined to grab every opportunity.
"Yes, I am driven, but I could never just stay at home and not work - I'd consider it lazy," she says.
"I think there is a real WAG culture in this country...why work when you can find someone who can give it to you if you hang around in the right nightclubs and sleep with the right man?
"I'm not like that. I'm not the prettiest, or the most talented, I've got wobbly bits and a lazy eye, but I make up for it with sheer hard work."
She adds: "I'm the main breadwinner and when I am doing a rubbish job, standing in a frozen field for hours, what keeps me going is that I am doing it for Ava."
Mostly, Myleene takes her daughter with her on jobs - Ava has already been to Canada, Portugal, Egypt, New York and Cape Town.
"I know that as she gets older it is going to get harder to take her everywhere - but that is just another challenge I will have to overcome," she says.
Myleene is clearly a jack of all trades. Despite her pop past she hails from four generations of classical musicians and plays the piano, harp and violin.
She's already had two number one classical albums - but there are purists who sneer.
Highbrow music critic Norman Lebrecht recently dismissed her as little more than "a cut above the amateur".
She hits back: "People like him think I am dumbing classical music down, while I think I am making it accessible."
But there's no doubting which job Myleene loves best.
"Being a mother isn't easy," she says, "but it's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. When Ava wakes me up in the morning by grabbing my nose I know I have never been happier."
The Classical Brits 2008 with NS&I take place on May 8 and will be shown on ITV1 at 10.35pm on May 15.
|
