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FIONA MCINTOSH
Phoneys won't fool me again
My name is Fiona McIntosh and I am a first-class mug. I am one of the millions of people who voted for a gurning TV star in spandex, in the belief that my vote counted.
Jens' early bath
Ginger Jenny, "The Bitch" from The Apprentice, says the secret to getting on in business is to sit next to brilliant people, listen to what they're doing, steal their best ideas and then "wipe them out".
British bloke's naughty German fantasy
There was a time about 12 years ago when Claudia Schiffer was the bane of my life.
more from Fiona McIntosh
ANNA SMITH
Bob’s brat is pop idle
BRITAIN may have talent. But it's not talent that will get you noticed. Ask Peaches Geldof.
Shame on Scott-land
If ever a face sums up the true price of getting too close to the perils of drink, it's that of fallen idol Scott Harrison.
Drunken Brazil's a nutcase
DAFT Alan Brazil should have exercised his right to remain silent when charged with drunk driving last year. But no.
more Anna Smith
MARK AUSTIN
Fright for their lives
If a government can be judged by the way it looks after its people at a time of crisis, then I think we can be confident in saying that the Burmese military regime has failed spectacularly.
So... till debt us do part
In the last recession in the early 90s, a friend of mine lost his job, then his house and then his wife as his marriage collapsed under the strain.
Once a fortnight is just not enough
I read last week that the rate of recycling in England has reached a new high - with more than a third of household waste now being recycled.
more from Mark Austin
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